Zlatan's Money Rules

If you've watched any World Cup coverage on Fox this summer, you've met Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

Maybe you caught him deadpanning "a World Cup without me wouldn't be a World Cup." Or maybe it was one of his (many) lines about Erling Haaland - how if Haaland gets two chances he will score two goals, but if Zlatan, yes in the third person, were to get the same two chances, he'd score three.

You'd think the average American would be at least modestly put off by a Swedish man they've likely never heard of saying "you're welcome, America" and meaning it, but… the opposite has happened.

The way a story can surprise you is what Panoptica is all about, so whilst I still have any excuse to anchor a post off one of my favorite players, I can't pass this chance up.

BUT, the thing I think we have to talk about isn't in the World Cup coverage. It is from the buildup to it, and Zlatan's post-professional career. No, it's not about the Zava character on Ted Lasso that was so clearly based on Zlatan, but it's also not that far off.

Friends, Americans, financial professionals - lend me your ears.

Zlatan, despite all the gimmicky lines and on-set antagonizing, gave some of the best financial advice I've ever seen someone of his status deliver. It was inside of a Piers Morgan interview from 2023. Coming from a financial professional with a modest soccer addiction, this one caught me off guard and has been living without a home inside my notes. Until now.

If the story of money, and sport, and celebrity has a positive financial planning poster child, it's Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

First, you should know that over 23 years, 500 goals, and across numerous countries, the man's gotten himself paid. And, paid well. He's worth somewhere north of $500 million. He's also happily in a long-term relationship, raising seemingly well-adjusted children with his partner, and at 44, is just getting started on his next chapter.

When he and his partner, Helena, moved in together, he had one demand. It was driven out of growing up in Malmö, basically the Chicago of Sweden, with a father who was tortured by the outbreak of the Bosnia war, and a Croatian mother who was raising a family on the edge of poverty, far from home. His parents were divorced and home life was rough. Food was scarce.

Zlatan's demand was,

"Every time I open the fridge I want it to be full. Even if I will not take something out. I just want to take away that image."

He wanted the image removed from his life. He wanted the reminder that he had outgrown how he grew up. Helena agreed.

When he made it, or at least when he reached a level where he felt financially successful which started perhaps before he was actually there, he helped everyone. Like many athletes getting their first taste of professional athlete money, he bought his mother a home. He vowed to keep her fridge full. It was noble on all the levels.

But he drew a line there. This is where the advice really starts to kick in.

"I will help you but I will not interfere in your private life. I will help you, I will make it easier for you - but under condition: you have to work for yourself."

The reasoning here matters way more than the rule.

"From a rockstar what do you become? And then when I stop and there's no more helping - what happens then? Then you go back. Then you become depressed."

This balancing act, of not withholding support that he was capable of giving, without smothering the agency of the individuals he was assisting - he was protecting them. He was protecting and teaching with what he made (and that's a lesson we know a thing or two about, 'round here).

When he bought his father a Mercedes, his dad refused it. He told his son he didn't need it. So Zlatan left the keys on the table and told him, "It's your car. Do whatever you want with it," and walked away.

A week later he spotted his dad driving the car across town. He wouldn't do it in front of Zlatan, but there wasn't anything to be upset about. Father got to keep his dignity. Zlatan got to keep his rule.

With his and Helena's children, he's carried the same philosophy forward. While they were living in LA, he'd drive 90 minutes through LA traffic to get them to training, just like every other travel soccer parent in the country (and the world), and told them: "give 200% or I stop coming." Even there, the choice was always theirs.

If they are to become professionals, they need their own hunger. So he helps create conditions where that hunger is possible. No more, no less.

On the direct matter of money, he's clearer than most people with that much of it ever get. This one is directly for the pro-flourishing financial planner crowd:

"Money makes it easier, makes your life easier - but I don't think it gives you happiness. Happiness is moments."

Think about that when he's telling the story of turning down a $100 million offer to go play in the Chinese league. It wasn't even slightly a moral reason. Zlatan didn't go to play in China because it didn't represent the challenge he wanted at that point in his career.

There's a point, an internal point, with wealth, where the number stops mattering. The only question that matters is how you're spending time.

As a rule - it’s generally advisable to be wary of financial advice from professional athletes.

But take some notes on these takeaways from the self-proclaimed Swedish lion.

Use money to rewrite stories. Rewrite them the right way (you'll know). Remove fears, protect agency, and create the conditions others will need to succeed. When possible, forget the number. When impossible, have a philosophy to fall back on.

Oh, and this feels obligatory, because if we've learned nothing else:

When the lion is hungry, he doesn't save $5 on a latte while he reads a financial planning textbook - he eats.

All quotes from Piers Morgan Uncensored, "Piers Morgan vs Zlatan Ibrahimovic | The Full, Uncut Interview," YouTube, October 2023.